By Mike Wade, New River Valley Community Services
John Halligan issued a strong warning for the more than 130 parents and community members who turned out to hear him speak on the evening of Thursday, April 15 in Christiansburg.

Bullying – whether it happens in a physical space or cyberspace – should be taken seriously.

Halligan knows first-hand the devastating impact that bullying can have when it isn’t addressed. He lost his son, Ryan, to suicide in 2003 after he had been ridiculed and humiliated by fellow students both in school and online. Ryan Halligan was just 13 years old at the time of his death.

The Halligan family’s story has been told numerous times through national media, including a recent episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show. In the years that have passed since Ryan’s suicide, John Halligan has been on a crusade throughout the United States and Canada to build greater public awareness and education about bullying, cyberbullying and depression in young people.

“I grew up on Long Island and when I was a kid if you had a problem with someone you took it outside and handled it,” Halligan said. “But today it’s not about throwing punches, it’s about throwing words…And I don’t know how you defend yourself against a rumor.”

When he first learned that his son was constantly being picked on, Halligan said he taught his son the “Karate Kid” method of self-defense. Although Ryan did eventually defend himself physically, it didn’t stop the bullying or his slide into a deep depression.

“I should have seen this train wreck coming,” stated Halligan. “I chalked up Ryan’s signs of depression up to typical teenage angst.”

“Ryan never really enjoyed school to begin with,” Halligan continued. “He was in special ed most of his life and struggled academically…I thought he just needed a pep talk or a hug. He needed a lot more.”

What Halligan and his wife, Kelly, didn’t realize prior to Ryan’s tragic death was the extent of bullying that he was being subjected to online. In hindsight, Halligan said that allowing his son to have a computer in his bedroom was a “terrible mistake.”

“Every second spent on that stupid computer was a missed opportunity for that kid to have a conversation with his Mom and Dad,” declared Halligan, who worked for IBM for more than 20 years. “…And we never thought to ask, ‘Is my son communicating with someone we don’t know?’”

Because he had insisted that his children use a single password for any online accounts, Halligan was able to gain full access to Ryan’s computer – including saved files and a number of online chats. Since there was no suicide note, Halligan explained that technology was his only way of putting together the pieces of the puzzle surrounding Ryan’s death.

“Once I logged on, I was stunned by what I saw,” said Halligan. “And I was amazed by how open other kids were in telling me what happened that eventually led Ryan to take his own life – the same kids that I had sat down face-to-face with to get answers…It was obvious that they were much more willing to be open with me online.”

Halligan noted that the level of comfort youth find in communicating through technology can make cyberbullying even more dangerous than bullying in a physical manner.

“No muscles are needed to send someone a harassing e-mail or text message,” Halligan added. “So a lot more kids participate electronically in this type of behavior and they’re starting as early as elementary school…The age of innocence tragically keeps getting lower and lower in our society.”

Halligan encouraged audience members to be involved in their child’s activity online and that if they aren’t already doing so, to become familiar with social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. He also addressed the issue of “sexting” – sending sexually explicit pictures and videos to others.

“The internet is fast becoming your resume and you’ve got to protect your reputation,” he said. “Be proactive and have a conversation with your kids about this stuff…In today’s world when kids make mistakes, they can turn out to be kind of big because of technology. If you do something stupid, post it online and then decide later to go back and delete it, someone could have already saved it onto their hard drive and then use it against you later.”

Halligan, who helped pass two bullying bills through the state legislature in his home state of Vermont, urged those in attendance to not be bystanders when bullying occurs – something he says is as equally as important for adults as it is children.

For more information on the Halligan family story, visit www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org.